The one joy about sitting next to Beavis is that he provides hours of entertainment. The questions and phrases that have come out of this kids mouth are pure gold. The story I am about to tell you is just one of those pure gold moments that had me in tears.

Now he comes up with allot of questions most of them are just about as stupid as the next. Some are so bad that I just want to go back into time when his Neanderthal parents were making hot sexy caveman sex and his dad is about to pimp club his mom in the head and I just up junk punch him in the taint so maybe….just maybe that would make this little fucker smarter. So I am sitting there working on what ever random thing I needed to complete when he says this…

Beavis: Hay, why are all the Popes so old?

m!Lk: ….really?

Beavis: Yea, why are they all so old?

Now I was raised Catholic so I know most of all this crap but I just did not want to go into it with him and spend the next hour of my life that I would never get back trying to explain the reasoning for it. Now anyone with a IQ higher than what you would find in a fucking rock could put two and two together and find the answer, but not Beavis.

m!Lk: Go goggle it or something.

Beavis: Do you want me to google it because you dont know?

m!Lk: No, I just dont feel like explaing it to you for the next hour and waste my life.

Beavis: Hehe, your funny. We should go camping some time.

m!Lk:….right…

30 minutes later…

Beavis: Hay m!Lk, I know why all the Popes are so old….they all have gray hair.

After laughing for a good five minutes I replied with this…

m!Lk: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Beavis: Nothing.

/palmforehead

m!Lk: Well the good news is that your close to the answer but not quite there.

Beavis: Well I was reading something on how you become the Pope and that’s what it said.

m!Lk: Did you read all of it?

Beavis: Yep.

m!Lk: And that’s what you took away from off of it…

Beavis: Yep.

m!Lk: Did you google “how to become a Pope”?

This is the very first thing that came up when I googled “how to become the pope”  http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1547/how-does-one-become-pope.

Beavis: Yep.

m!Lk: Wow, okay that’s just amazing. Okay listen up JR, there are allot of steps that one must take in order for you to even be up for Pope. We are talking years and years of one persons life to even have a shot at being voted in.

Beavis: Oh OK, I see what they were talking about now. Yea I get it now.

m!Lk: …..

I am not sure what the fuck he was reading and how the fuck he took away “gray hair” out of it but he did. I was about in tears when he said it and he was laughing with me as I am dying in laughter. I was not sure if he had a full understanding of how to become the Pope so I made him a easy to read chart.