So a lot has happened since I last up dated the website. Some of this has taken place when I was updating the website but most of it I could not really post until now. Jabba and Beavis no longer work for the company. Beavis “resigned” from the company about a year ago and Jabba “resigned” a few months back. There will be a story on the lead up and the “resigning” of Beavis but it will take me some time to write it up without getting into trouble. So now that you have a little back story on what has happened, let’s get on to the good stuff….

A few days after Jabba “resigned” from the company she announced that Beavis and she would be getting married. When I found this out I went nuts. These two getting married is the start of Idiocracy (If you have not seen the movie, do yourself a favor and get it). They then moved in together and started to plan out their wedding. Jabba would IM me and give me updates or come up to the office and talk about their wedding plans. I had hoped that they would just brake up for the 50th time and all of this would be out the window and humanity would be saved but it seemed as if we were all doomed.

Shit…

The wedding inched forward and they started to send out wedding invitations. I would receive Emails and IMs from her on a daily basis asking for my home address and what I wanted to eat at the wedding, I never responded. So she did the next best thing, she hunted me down on Facebook and sent me friend invites in hope to gather the information from myself or someone on my friends list. It got to the point that she was sending me a few invites a day and I had to block her on Facebook. Then to top it off Beavis started sending me emails.

Then it happened, she sent the invitations to my place of employment. When I was given mine I looked at the envelope and then looked up at the person giving me the invitation and said “Why” and then placed it in my garbage interment unit. It seems that this is not an action that people like to see. So the person handing them out was in aww and just walked away.

So the day before the wedding, when everything is paid for, everything is planned out to the T, and her family has flown in from all over…he calls off the wedding. Jabba is devastated. She cancels her Facebook account; she cuts off all communications with people outside of her family. She has completely shut herself down.

Play for full effect of sadness

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Word finds its way to the office and we are all told that the wedding is off. Everyone is a little sad that this has happen so close to the wedding date, even myself. I could not understand why anyone would do this to someone but I am sure he has his reasons but I was unsure of why. A few days go by and I receive an IM from Jabba. I asked her how she was and how she was holding up. She tells me that she is having a hard time dealing with all of this but she will make it through this and it will make her stronger, or some shit like that. I ask her why Beavis did this and she told me that it was due to his psycho mom feeding his head with lies about marriage and this scared him so he called it off.

The next day Jabba comes into the office with food that was meant for the wedding and sits down to talk with some of us. Jabba goes on to tell her sad, sad story and how he hurt her and how bad of a person Beavis is. Everyone in the office just feels bad for her and hates Beavis for what he has done. Jabba also starts up her Facebook account and starts her pity party.

The other day she happens to stop by the office to chat with some of us. Jabba stops by my little area and we start talking about how she is doing. Jabba tells me that she has moved back in with her parents and is still looking for a new job. Jabba then goes on to tell me how no one wants to date her and blah blah blah. I kind of black out from not caring when my boss walks into the office and starts to question why she is even here. My boss goes on to ask her if she is still seeing Beavis. Jabba responds with “not really, we still talk though”. We then give her shit about even talking with the little fucker and she plays it off.

I had a feeling that she was hiding something about Beavis and herself but was not sure what it was so I waited until my boss took off and started questioning her. Lucky for me she is about as smart as a fucking rock and it did not take me long to find out her little secret.

Jabba: You have to promises not tell anyone.

m!Lk: Who am I going to tell? The internet? Not like I have a website setup for me to tell stories about you or something…

Jabba: The reason why he left me a day before our wedding was because I slept with his brother.

m!Lk: I am sorry what?

Jabba: I slept with his brother…

m!Lk: Then you deserved what you got.

*Her body language and facial expressions go from “poor me” to “sock and aww”*

m!Lk: How could you just sleep with his brother?

Jabba: It just happened.

m!Lk: It just don’t “happen”, you where not bending over nude somewhere and he just fell in. I mean that has happened with half-breed and me, but I digress.

*At this point I am pissed and done with Jabba so I try to make her so uncomfortable that she leaves and Half-Breed picks up on this*

Half-Breed: Yea but only the tip.

m!Lk: Yea, we played just the tip but no shaft. Never the shaft…ever.

Jabba: I don’t know, it just happened.

m!Lk: Right, cool story.

Jabba: Ok, well I am going up stairs. I will see you both later.

m!Lk: Sure thing.

So this worthless increment of human waste went around playing this pity party for herself and making Beavis look like the bad guy when it was her doing that ending this wedding. Keep in mind I don’t like Beavis and I really, really think that he should have been a blow job but I feel bad for the kid. No one deserves that. So the moral of this story is that if you want to have kids, you should be forced to take an I.Q. test first. If this was put into place stuff like this would not happen.