Okay, Watch this first. If your at work it may be a good idea not to have your volume way up like a moron and play this…for those who don’t get my sense humor, the bad men say bad words like fuck and shit and other fun words for people to use at their next dysfunctional family reunion.

Okay, now that you have watched this great video, here is the story on why I had you watch it first…well if you did not watch it first you would have no idea what the fuck I was talking about and would then be lost, so quit bitching.

I am in the kitchen making myself a white taco (also known as a sandwich) and the house is really quite due to the fact that my son and father-in-law are both still asleep. Well my wife walks in to make her cup-o-coffee and as she turns the corner I turn around at her and grabbed my crotch and scream “I’m on a boat mother fucker I’m on a boat”. She then stops and looks at me and says “what the fuck is wrong with you” and I reply to her stupid ass question (its stupid because she knows whats wrong with me…ooooh she knows) “I’m on a boat nigga, yea that’s whats up”. Oh did I drop the N word? Yes I did son. Why did I drop the N word? Well there where no black people in my house, that I know of that’s why, oh and I have a black friend so its cool. She then starts talking again but at this point I black out and don’t hear a word she says at this point and all I can hear is the sound of dancing unicorns and baby’s crying. I will summon up what she said with what she normally says. Its kind of like what my mom used to tell me when I was young “I wish I never had you” but my wife’s reply was along the lines “Why did I marry you”. I die a little inside each time she says it.

P.S. I fucked a mermaid